Dog: I took a class one time but I'm not sure

911: we'll stay on the phone and walk you through it

That's the nice thing about cats, they won't notice you're gone till 2035

Not my girlfriends cats. They yowl the second they think they have been left alone. 4 am in the morning, cat seems to know I'm about to get up and leave for work. Yowling commences. When I leave out the door, throws herself on my clothes and yowls.

But when I'm home and want to give her pets she won't accept them unless she wants them...

I wish we had dogs

My cat did that. It started with putting on my shoes, if she saw that she'd freak out. Then it was pants. Then it was showering. Then it was going to bed. Got to the point where she'd try to physically constrain me on the weekends because she thought I would leave her. It was pretty nice actually, she'd lay on my lap being all nice until she realised it was 2pm and I haven't even showered yet and head off to sleep. My favorite part was when I got home. She'd be at the top of the stairs, the side of her head would be flat from sleeping all day and she'd scream her head off at me. I cried when I got home the day after she died, she wasn't at the top of the stairs and... jesus im tearing up.

Oh boy! oh boy! i love going for walks, stay on the line i have to go and do the zoomies real quick brb!

"Holy shit it's working, thanks!"

Nope. Nothing will ever surpass the legendary "hello?.... Yes, this is dog"


I read half of this before I figured "no one is dumb enough to take this bait". Reddit is full of surprises...

Sorry for your loss man, shit is tough :(

:( why is someone cutting onions at 7am in the office

Which I find is weird. I've heard this all the time, but I've always seen a different reaction from the dog based on how long we've been gone.

When I've been gone for a few hours and get home, my dog is really happy, but not over the top. Then I come home from a 1 week trip, and he's almost shitting himself from happiness.

The dogs we've had also stand ready by the door around the time I usually walk them

dogs are the best

I want to see it now, I laughed so hard for no reason https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/yes-this-is-dog https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/234765-i-have-no-idea-what-im-doing


Only thing I got from this is that you don't know how to properly get ready. Shoes first, then pants, then you take a shower? What in the hell.

Are you in my office? We should find this onion cutter immediately.

For real though: if you're out of the house 10+ hours a day and the dog has no entertainment, don't get a dog.

If you play with them more their behavior will improve. They yell because they have unsatisfied needs. One of their biggest needs is the drive to hunt, catch and kill. Get some active toys or a laser pointer. Feather toys on string are very effective.

You'll never get me.

The Onion Cutter

My greyhound bypasses the couch and goes directly for the toilet paper roll....

That is so not true. They have a general sense of how long you've been gone. We had a dog as a kid that would escape the kennel and travel 5 miles to a friend's house if you were gone more than 2 days. My last dog would eat at the boarders the 1st day but went on a hunger strike after that. My current dog is not very enthusiastic to be picked up after a play day, but goes bonkers if picked up after an over night stay. Even though in both cases she has been playing with dogs for hours which is her favorite thing.

Not true the cats will notice when they realize their food slave isn't refilling their food and water anymore

Are they okay at 4 am in the evening? Asking for pedantic friend.

I think you fell for the bait