Get yourself a girl who will take your fitness tests.
Lmao what the fuck
New patron saint for all sunday league football players.
and I thought I was lazy
If I'm not completely wrong another player in Germany put his heart rate monitor on his dog.
Work smarter, not harder.
German ingenuity at it's finest
Good way to pass your drug tests, too. You might get found out as having a uterus however.
"Sir, while you do not seem to have any drugs in your bloodstream, you are pregnant. Please come back in 9 months"
After reading the article I'm very disappointed that this didn't involve a dsguise of some kind.
I think a lot of pre-pre-season training (i.e. staying fit through your holibobs) is reported using fitness trackers or similar devices now. I assume this has been the case for a while in professional football.
They'd probably use manipulated software tbh
Get a load of this guy
It was probably a Wolfsburg player
Fun fact: If you're male and a blood test says you're pregnant it's a common sign of certain cancers!
then what the fuck is the methodology used for those tests? do players hire someone to go to their homes and run the test? I thought it was the clubs who did that shit
Not really correlated, but everytime I hear/read something abous Kies (which is not happening that much anymore) I have to think about the stupid name he and his wife gave his son: Teylor (thats just rediculous combined with his very german sounding 2nd. name).
Me and my buddis just called him Taylor all his carreer long. I miss that running gag.
That's actually pretty impressive, those wouldn't be that easy
No, they use wolves.
I also enjoy watching Man United.
There was a famous baseball player named Vladimir Guerrero which is even more hilarious imo
He said:"I never did all of my runs when preparing for the season, my wife is pretty athletic so she did some of them."
The quote is just plain wrong and misleading.
Kießling said his wife did some runs for him in the morning.
Quote implies that he did nothing at all.
And phantom goals.
Kießling's really got it all. :D
Sankt Stefan von Leverkusen
It is for a german boy
"Sir, he has been running in circles for hours now, his dedication is unreal "
You need to reevaluate fun
Surprisingly to absolutely nobody who watched him play, Ian Marshall did not enjoy running in pre-season https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/row-zed/former-bolton-star-reveals-duped-10210339
Robben specifically trained his dog to cut inside. The club never suspected a thing.
I hoped it was something like that 2000 disney movie with a girl that was into motocross
Or what about "She's the Man"? Even involves soccer.
It is for a german. American's don't name their kids Hans, enen though thats a common name in other parts of the world.
Who was the guy who got in trouble for attaching his device to his dog?
“When not sitting in one place for much of the day he appears to be running around in a tight circle over and over again.”
Cant bring up Russian first name with a Spanish last name without mentioning Yeltsin Tejeda.
Maximilian Ibrahimovic sounds like someone who conquers the Balkans by the age of 12 or something.
"Täilaaaa, lass das liegen und komm mal bei Mama!"
For offseason. You can't really do higuain or Diego costa stuff and turn up 15 kg heavier after the summer club requires reports every day now
What about all time American hero Hans Olo?
Reminds me of my girlfriends little brother putting his pokéwalker on the dog.
"Täilaaa! Schajenn! Nich bei die Asis gehen!"
There is an actress named Mädchen Amick
I'd pay to have this guy stream himself running on a treadmill for more than 30 minutes.
That comment made me wince
There are 4632 swedes named Maximilian
No even the Dutch article said that he never did the full routine. Not that he never ran.
I'm sorry got carried away looking into the current rate of child death in Yemen. What were we talking about?
No it was more like a mrs doubtfire situation
Not like he did badly in his career.
"We've found our man-marker for Fellaini, boys!"
Can't top Robin van Persie naming his son Shaquielle though IMO.
That's a future engineer right there. Right up there with putting your digimon egg on the dryer.
Bundesliga and dogs. Cando out there making coaching decisions and another dog passing fitness tests.
Efficiency is just clever laziness.
Yes but not in Morocco lol
Should have named him Teymon imho.
Work smarter, not harder don’t work hard, work intelligent
Actually you'll find most Nigerian deaths are down to Diarrhoeal diseases and strokes.
Is that why he had to keep this poor excuse for a haircut for so long?
"Honey I have a great news, you are pregnant!"
Reminds me of reading about names that start with Y becoming popular in Cuba partly due to Soviet influence in the 90s
"Hey, before you go on your run today, could you put this on for me?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Uh, nothing much"
a leicester city player did that years back.
Lots of strikers don't run that much over 90 minutes, I haven't seen much of Kiessling but if he was a bit like Inzaghi or Huntelaar he wouldn't get tired fast.
What? The lad sleeps 22 hours a day??
Vladimir and other Russian style names aren't too uncommon in the DR and Cuba
Lmao why the fuck is everyone excited aboit cancer? Reddit is weird man
That'll be the beta-hCG hormone... commonly measured in pregnancy tests, and elevation is associated with some forms of testicular cancer and liver cancer!
“But I do wonder why he’s stopping at every tree”
Don't be intelligent, be intelligently!
I remeber an aussie rules player got caught doing this cause his top speed was like 40 something kilometers per hour
Now they do.
Ah, the Tyler Hamilton way.
amen. go hardgh or go homhe, always said it.
His son's name is actually Tayler-Joel which is so much fucking worse. His daughters name is, wait for it... Hailey-Milu. Just, uuurgh.
But Hummels isn't any better really. Named his son Ludwig. Imagine naming your son Ludwig in 2k18.
Ludwig just sounds old-timey though, as opposed to white trash.
It was Ian Marshall.
Did very well tbh.
Maybe he would have been more successful if he would have did the runs....
Motocrossed. Disney channel original movie. Holy shit, I forgot about that timeless classic.
But fucking badass.
Leave Cando out of this.
Kiessling was also declared pregnant, as his wife also supplied his urine sample. /s
Well personally speaking I've got my med school finals on Monday/Tuesday so facts about cancer are at the forefront of my mind right now.
Kiesling next generations family names will go ->Kleinstein->Georak->Geowanz
There were 2 Holy Roman Emperors called Maximilian, yeah, none of them conquered the Balkans though. The first one was only semi-successful in war, but arranged marriages quite well, so yay?
Twin Peaks❤ I kinda like that name (outside of German speaking countries) but I imagine English speakers have a hard time pronouncing it.
How can you cheat a fitness test? Surely he’d be found out when training started or when he was exhausted twenty minutes into a game. What a lad though lol
Wow you were born earlier than some people. We're all very impressed.
While certainly not as popular in the US there do exist people that will give their kids traditional Germanic and Scandinavian names. Don't count out Americans trying to be unique by copying someone else.
VI was the first Dutch source that published it.
Let's also not forget Jay Rodriguez
you sure you weren't just moving park 🤣🤣