I've got nothing better to do today

I've got nothing better to do today

As if you had anything on your schedule besides "jack off to underage anime characters and drink two litres of mountain dew".

I take offense to that... I don't drink mountain dew.

Paul Giamatti as a sex offender

It’s sad to see what child fame did to Chuckie after the Rugrats.

Good job on picking an accurate username!

You look like an orangutan got a hold of a razor

Hey, I've been getting called Ogre for 25 years, might as well own it.

I suppose that makes sense, considering I have a Kia Soul

You look like an animated hamster with glasses

Whose kid did you stroke?

If I saw your face on the news saying you jacked off in front of an elementary school I would not be surprised

You're welcome. I'm even funnier than I look.

Your forehead looks like a penis'es tip.

I have never before looked at a photo of someone and just immediatley started laughing

You look like you make yogurt for a living.

Might as well, considering it doesn't look like you own anything else.

Now turn to the side.....

that's impossible.

LOL. Well played.

Amazingly they both have the same wonky eye. This pedophile is dedicated to his craft

No, but I do.

Garage* I don't have a basement.

39, took me 14 years to get the nickname.

Yeah! He’s a diet Vanilla Coke and Sunkist Orange Soda Guy! So much better than those Dewey weebs


That's from the stroke, tbh

Your response made me laugh more than the actual roast

I'm kinda surprised I haven't seen his face on the news saying he jacked off in front of an elementary school

Just wanted to say I felt iffy posting that so hope you’re doing well and it canceled for good.

Louie C.K. has really let himself go.

WTF lol

It's /sub/roastme, I decided before I posted this I wasn't gonna take shit personal.

Fuck yes!

Well, this is probably gonna get lost in the comments, but I can't edit the post. Thanks for the gold, anonymous user!

Nothing better to do? Not even the 7 year old you keep locked in your basement?

Skinny??? Fucking skinny??? This may be the only comment on this entire thread I find offensive.


You look like you gave up 10 years ago

2 actually

How many children have seen the trunk of that Soul?

What happened did suicide cancel on you?

Multiple times, in fact.

You're only 25?! Jesus christ poor you.

Creeper lol

That just means he hasn't been caught


This may be the most accurate comment on this thread. I love red bull.

Good on you my man, you actually get the meaning of this sub, have fun jacking off to some anime with a bottle of red bull in your other hand.

Nah, this is Garfield as a human.

Nah he prefers capri sun

In a prior post you said your wife had 200 sexual partners before you... I bet that number is still 200 after marrying you.

You've got slow friends. Unless your parents finally said "fuck it" and stopped caring.

In between filming episodes of MythBusters.

Was the local elementary school closed today?

you lying basement occupying fat ginger

Damn Librarian trying to be sneaky.


You look like Droopy

You look like

Not sure if more a burn on this guy or on Louis C.K. 🧐 oof

Don't forget All Grown Up!

Hahaha with the dip and everything

You look like someone left nair on a dog's anus for too long.

On second thought, probably best we do.

I assure you, I can pass a Turing test.

You look like a bad experiment on Mythbusters where Adam and Jamie made a test tube baby together, you know... for science.

Too used and abused

TIL gingers can buy souls

No lol, got the nickname in '93, long before it came out.

Nah, it’s 10. You only became self aware of how pathetic you are two years ago.

Look at Mr. Fancypants, how long have you been saving those goodboy points ?

Give you credit man this is the first roast me where the roastee made me crack up more than the roasters

Louis C.P.

This made me literally lol, and I’m still laughing

the 7 year olds in his basement or the joke

Lol, you're not wrong. I had a stroke last year.

The weight must be from your insatiable appetite for Zingers thyroid problem?


It's a soul because he traps their souls in it

Oof indeed! 
 You have oofed 4 time(s). 

I am a bot. Comment ?stop for me to stop responding to your comments.

You have oofed 4 time(s).

I am a bot. Comment ?stop for me to stop responding to your comments.



the viking no one invites to go pillaging

How many children are you sitting on for a chair right now?

Man does his research

well..Paul Giamatti hasn't made a film for awhile, but it's sad to see him stoop to /sub/roastme for publicity.

Literally my first thought when I saw this. At least Paul Giamatt knows now that he should never go ginger

Nope. I was down to 350 from 400. And I'm more sedentary than lazy, I had a 50 hour a week desk job.

Sincerely, Thank you.

Thank you, seriously.

Red bull does not come in bottles though.

Go fuck yourself... don't put that level of hate on me... I mean, basement dwelling, soda chugging pedophile is bad... but socks and sandals is just too far.

Oh no, you were right the first time. My thyroid is fine.

That would tear a hole in the universe.

Louie (yu)C.K.

It’s like every sex offender in the world combined their powers into one massive creepy rapist.

The real Paul Giamatti has had sex scenes with women in real movies

This version had to use his niece’s Sponge Bob doll and his phone duct taped to the end of a broken mop



Bad bot

The SJW version of Hagar the horrible