AdviceAnimals

It turned out to be the right move

It turned out to be the right move

As long as it wasn't a kidney.

+1 to job security

META

In romantic comedies that’s called a “meet cute”.

Please, just a hint.

Please, just a hint.

If what amazon keeps suggesting to me in the app is any indication, it has no idea what anyone wants.

No amazon, I have no interest in protein powder. I have no idea why you think I do. I have never looked at or purchased anything to do with protein powder.

I also don't want coconut oil. I bought that once, through fresh, over a year ago for my wife, and now you suggest I buy more constantly. Yet you never suggest that I buy more of stuff I actually want.

The real question is would you want the suggested gifts from you to your mom to be an exhaustive list of your porn viewing habits

Yeah, but I bought that item once a year ago. I'm always shopping on Amazon. You'd think it would latch on to the type of items I buy more often.

Buying that data would be my first gift.

Drinks wrong. Appetizers after Entrees. Plates after entrees. M.I.A. for 10 minutes after refill request. Had to flag a manager to get a final bill.

Drinks wrong. Appetizers after Entrees. Plates after entrees. M.I.A. for 10 minutes after refill request. Had to flag a manager to get a final bill.

I always hate to do this, but sometimes its deserved. i think I've done this twice maybe three times in my life. The most memorable was I had taken a group of friends out to a restaurant I really liked. The waitress was horrible. 5/6 of our apitizers were wrong, she forgot to bring my friends salad, we kept asking her for it, she kept forgetting. Literally asked her like 6 times, we finally got it to go after dessert. 3/6 entries were wrong in some fashion, one had to be sent back entirely. Other waiters/waitresses would refill our drinks because she was nowhere to be found. I know this wasn't her fault, but just added to the miserable experience when a bus boy spilled water all over my friend while refilling her glass. Then, she actually had the balls at the end of the meal to brag "Most waitresses need a pad, but if you noticed, I didn't write anything down" "maybe you should have". I think I gave her a dollar tip and a note on a $200 check.

On the flip side, I also greatly tip for good service. Was holiday shopping with my wife, stopped for a quick bite. The place was packed, but the waiter was amazing. The second my glass was empty he had a refill, was funny, polite, still made time to both talk and yet wasn't annoying or there too much. Food came out quick, and was entirely impressed with the fact there was like an hour wait because it was so packed and he gave us so much attention knowing it was going to be a small check (I think we spent $20-30 for the two of us). He went so above and beyond, especially for being so crowded, I tipped him $40 and a note saying "Merry Christmas"

I dunno, man. I mean, I appreciate the username synergy, but if someone brings me the wrong drink and I immediately demand to speak to their manager, pretty sure I'm the prick in that situation.

"Don't worry, we won't charge you for it!" Yeah, no shit. Don't you dare charge me for food I didn't get after listening to your coworkers talk about how you use sex toys attached to power tools while staring at your ass. This was after watching the cook get the order, grunt at it, and remain seated for another 10- 15 minutes.

Waffle House, you're always entertaining after midnight.

Here’s a neat trick: when you have a problem with wait staff, food quality, or anything else in a restaurant, don’t wait until your entire meal has been fucked up: get the manager immediately. Managers will usually step in, work to make your dining experience better, and comp part of your meal. Then, you’re rid of the server who gave you a bad experience, they don’t end up having to pay money to have waited on you (they’re taxed on an expected tip based on the bill so when you don’t tip about 8%, they pay tax on it anyway) and you have a better end of your dining experience.

If you sit around with the wrong food and poor service long enough to get a check without voicing a problem to anyone capable of doing something about it, that’s your own fault.

My co-worker/friend was made fun of for not drinking office party. She’s a newly recovering alcoholic and doesn’t want people to know. She left in tears.

My co-worker/friend was made fun of for not drinking office party. She’s a newly recovering alcoholic and doesn’t want people to know. She left in tears.

Yeah its the same everywhere I go , Sometimes I just don't want to drink .

Theres always some asshole who just won't let it go.

If there's one thing I fucken hate it's being asked the same thing multiple times.

Now I just walk away.

I'm curious. Why is this even worthy of teasing or insulting about?

Today marks exactly 365 days of sobriety for me. I recently started a new job and have repeatedly been told I need to join in on the frequent ‘work outings’ to get to know everyone on the shift better, because I ‘seem cool as fuck’.

They’re all at bars. Every single person shut down on me when I told them I don’t drink. All except one. We went out for sushi.

It’s hard when you don’t want people to know. But tell her not everyone sucks, and having someone to talk/text to will really help in the hardest moment. Congratulations on her decision.

Right? Are they 14 year olds?

Fucking Reddit, man.

Fucking Reddit, man.

I watched the video and people on youtube accused her of trying to hit him first....

She was holding their fucking child.

Honestly, fuck that guy.

If you cannot put your game down and have family time, do not have a fucking family.

If you don't want a family, use all the birth control or don't have sex.

And this is not the first time he has hit her, this is the first time anyone saw it.

I have been dealing with and helping people with domestic violence for 15 years now, just as my source for ranting against this little man-child-coward.

Do you die inside a little bit every time the person getting the beatings goes back to the abuser.

I swear to fucking god, it kills me every time.

The downvotes have spoken: I'm the asshole here. Cool. Cool cool cool. Always a pleasure, you guys.

Yes, I do.

I remind myself of the mental trap abusers put their victims in, they think they deserve that and that this is as good as it gets.

I never, ever shut them out though, i remain available for venting and advice.

My daughters abusive ex raped her while holding a gun to her head, my wife's ex tried to murder her dozens of times over their 12 year marriage.

They both lied to protect their abusers for a long time.

Imagine me learning about my daughter's ex 3 months after he left the country to work as a contractor for the US Air force.

My BF wasn’t happy about me hanging out with a male friend. I tried to reassure him by saying “Oh come on, he’s way out of my league”

My BF wasn’t happy about me hanging out with a male friend. I tried to reassure him by saying “Oh come on, he’s way out of my league”
My BF wasn’t happy about me hanging out with a male friend. I tried to reassure him by saying “Oh come on, he’s way out of my league”

Just reassure him that his dick is bigger than your friends.

Friend of mine has a fiance that got worried that we were hanging out together. All she did was show him a picture of me and he was never worried again.

... Yeah, that stung a bit.

EDIT: Holy shit this exploded. Okay, clarifying some things.

She's still my friend. Got me through a lot of tough shit in my life. I'm not, nor have I ever, persued her. We give each other shit all the time.

I am married (and was engaged at the time) and my wife is quite beautiful. I have two lovely daughters to show for it as well.

No, I will not be giving out pictures. I've suffered enough.

I said something really similar to my girlfriend at the time!

I (straight male) found a new running buddy (straight female) who was beautiful, smart, successful, and funny (plus amazingly fast for a female runner) and the girlfriend made a half-joking comment about the new friend stealing me away. I said, "Oh, don't worry, she's way out of my league!" My girlfriend just shut up immediately and I could tell she was hurt. I realized afterwards that she was just speaking from a sense of irrational insecurity and that the right answer was, "No, Babe, you never have to worry about that. I love you."

Anyway, long story short, the running friend and I have been married for about two years now.

Can’t wait until that Mueller snap 💢👌🏼

Can’t wait until that Mueller snap 💢👌🏼

This totally clears the president. Thank You!

He was just a coffee son. No collusion.

Advice... Animals...?

Can Trump pardon him?

“Lincoln was a Republican,” “Democrats owned slaves,” “we never supported Bush and his wars either.” We all know what’s coming next....

“Lincoln was a Republican,” “Democrats owned slaves,” “we never supported Bush and his wars either.” We all know what’s coming next....

A handful of “former” Trump supporters are already testing a line that goes like this:

“Well of course we knew he was going to be a train wreck. I mean, after all, he is a NY Democrat! He is and always was a RINO. He was really a third-party candidate, like Theodore Roosevelt. We just didn’t know he was going to be this bad! And what else could we have done? Vote for Hillary?”

They start frothing at the mouth when I call bullshit and remind them of how fervently they believed in Trump for three years.

To be fair the guy who killed Hitler was a Nazi.

My mother loves to say it would be worse under Hillary.

That’s generally been the go-to, in my experience. They don’t bother trying to justify the lard. They just throw up a what-about. And a hypothetical one, at that.

Cheap ass Papa Johns

Cheap ass Papa Johns

Dominoes does the same. 5 dollar delivery fee to my area. The driver only gets 1.50 for the delivery.

I'm a delivery driver for dominos. They charge $3, we don't get that but they do pay us $0.30 a mile and sometimes that ends up being more than the delivery fee if it's a long drive. So it helps at least

You know what really grinds my gears?

The fact that no one has the slightest clue how apostrophes work anymore.

EDIT: Gold?! Wow. Thank you, kind Reddit stranger!

I'm also a Domino's delivery driver. We charge $2.99 for delivery as well. The driver gets a flat $1.30.

Edit: dude below me saying $1.30 is our hourly wage is wrong. It's what I get per delivery on top of $8.20 an hour wage. But I've also been rear ended three times now (by people with no insurance, while I had liability). I can't recommend it due to how quickly you burn through cars.

Edit 2: apparently I'm super lucky to live where I do and work for the franchisee I do in regards to wages.

Well I can't unsee that...

Well I can't unsee that...

Am I the only one that thinks those feet look...wrong?

It's because it's photoshopped.

He got big feetsies

It’s photoshopped, the original doesn’t have the claws on the feet overlapping the claws on the front paws

Try one of these subthreads