mallninjashit

Mall Ninja arrested in my town.

Mall Ninja arrested in my town.

The BBQ claws are a nice touch.

Just for fun, here's what he was charged with:

Possession for the purpose of Trafficking X5

Unauthorized Possession of a firearm X4

Possession of a weapon dangerous to public X7

Possess firearm/ammo contrary to prohibition X21

Possession of stolen property over $5000

Possession of stolen property under $5000 X6

Possession of break in tools

Breach probation X8

Possess ID documents X4

I actually own a set of those bear claw things, I got them as a gift for shredding pulled pork and stuff lmao

Two pair of them even

Instagram is a goldmine

Instagram is a goldmine

Gotta love crappy knives in expensive cases

It's half cross, half shuriken. With it you have the power of god and anime on your side.

"When I'm not allowed a gun but I want to look badass with a pro case"

How does one use the top left... erm, thing? The one that seems to have sharp edges at all ends.

THE POWER OF CHRIST IMPALES YOU!!

The most deadly of shotguns *sorry if repost couldnt find it*

The most deadly of shotguns *sorry if repost couldnt find it*

How the hell are you supposed to reload the second fucker underneath the first one ? How do you manage recoil ? Who do you expect to stab with something's heavier than a washing machine ? Whyyyyyy

The weight of all of the random shit negates the recoil, duhh

Even the flashlight has tiny bayonets kindof.

.....I want one

random shit weaponised stabiliser rods.

I can't even tell what is on the end of it

I think it's literally just an itty-bitty flail. Perfect for your baby crusader!

It's a weapon of last resort. You know, if all else flails.

That would actually be a lethal blow though. Imagine actually recording yourself in a pretentious outfit on a beach with a rig that mounts coconuts for you to smash.

Looks like a the weapon he is using could be a Monkey's Fist

What do you guys call these facebook memes...

What do you guys call these facebook memes...

Most people I know post deep qoutes about friendship and in a background a pic of wannabe gangsters/mafia holding guns and baseball bats. Examples are: ''For true friends I could kill someone", "If they send one of your guys to the hospital, send 10 of them to the morgue". And people who share these are 13 year olds. At least it's not a minion post where minion says: "I did a pushup today, I need a cup cake"

A cry for help.

I feel like these memes are mall ninja as shit but also not mall ninja... I need a better term for this shit. Anyone have something they call these?

​

Not this meme specifically obviously the ones it is making fun of.

But I did do a push up today, and I do need a cupcake.

It's not my fault that there's no better way to express this fact than a totally unrelated picture of a minion.

Was told to post this here

Was told to post this here

A man who has both a belt and suspenders is suspicious of everything. He doesn't even trust his own pants.

This is at least 50% better because that is definitely a mall food court

That's some grade a grandpa wisdom right there. Like I can legitimately imagine the grandfather from Hey Arnold saying this very solemnly.

You know that guy practices pulling that knife out in front of the mirror and saying something he thinks sounds badass like a fatter, shittier version of taxi driver

While you've been begging for treats he was studying the blade

While you've been begging for treats he was studying the blade

This is acceptable

He spill,

He don't pay bill,

But most importantly..

He kill..

clan elders huddled around scroll in heated debate

"Rules don't say a dog can't train ninjutsu!"

Air Bud: Caninja Chronicles, coming to blu-ray this fall.

Ah, the Great Grey Wolf Sif. Who's a good boy?? Yes you are, Sif.

First day of concealed carry class

First day of concealed carry class

How many times will this be reposted with different captions from people claiming to be the OP

"That’s his concealed carry outfit" - /u/Cyberus01

We can only do our part and downvote...

I do not approve of my photo being posted

27 inch sword with an LED light. Why? Because why not.

27 inch sword with an LED light. Why? Because why not.

Holy shit only 15$? fuck yeah I would buy that.

Are you implying I strike my pillow waifu??? 😤

She had a black eye when I saw her the other day, you bastard 😡

Actually it's $15. I imagine the blade would shatter if you tried to hit something harder than a pillow.

A mall ninja classic

A mall ninja classic

Not gonna lie, the rainbow throwing daggers would be nice to just display on a desk or something.

I actually think the red one looks nice.

I mean, they look pretty neat. For display, anyway.

Maybe use as a letter opener

Try one of these subthreads